Tuesday, April 25, 2017

Be Careful What You Ask For

For the second time this weekend someone has asked for my opinion and then likely not been pleased when they got it.

Are you one of those people who, when asked how you like someone's new outfit or hairstyle, tell them it looks great while internally you are cringing and wondering what on earth they were thinking when they spent that money?  Well, I'm not.  I assume that if you ask me such a question you really want to know.  Why would you go fishing for compliments? Getting them that way would always leave you wondering if you were getting a truthful answer.  After all you've just put someone on the spot and some people would feel it was impolite the tell the truth and possibly hurt your feelings. I, on the other hand figure you wouldn't ask if you didn't want to know. I'm doing you a service by giving you an honest answer.  You do have to keep in mind that it's just my opinion, and opinions vary from one person to another.  Mine is in no way special other than that you specifically asked for it.

I do a lot of surveys and reviews for new products. This not only makes me a bit of spending money but is also a safe, healthy way for me to express my opinions.  I even have it listed on one of those sites that if you ask for my opinion, you will get it.

Please, do be careful not to ask me how old I think you are, as someone did this weekend.  Before answering, I did say that it was a rather embarrassing question since I might get the answer wrong. I qualified my answer by first stating my own age, and then saying that I figured she was maybe just a couple of years older.  "Older?" she shrieked, as her hands flew to her face in shock.  I knew immediately that she was probably at least 5 years younger to be as upset as that.  But hey, I was faced with a lady selling skin care products that were supposedly anti-aging, and she thought they worked miracles. I thought she looked good for the age I gave her. On the other hand, if she's younger than I am, I have no use for those products as she had a lot more wrinkles than I do. Let's just say it's a good thing I'm not writing a review on that product line.  I was treading carefully by the time she asked if I'd be interested in purchasing any of them. I just told her I had a large supply of creams and gels at home and quickly wandered off.  I do hope she has at least learned not to ask that age question ever again......or any of the other ones she might not be happy with answers to.

Tuesday, April 18, 2017

Learn to Play the Game of Life

There is something called the game of life. I'm sure you've heard of it. Most of you play it well without actually thinking about it. But what is it?

Like any other game, it has rules. You have to follow certain rules to play any game, especially if you are playing with other people. If you don't they will tell you that you cheat. If you play by your own rules you are just messing things up and the game won't go well. Either way, others won't want to play with you anymore.

Society has set up rules of etiquette which are meant to make people comfortable with one another and other rules called laws, to keep people safe. People who get caught breaking the laws are punished for doing so. People who don't follow the rules of etiquette are simply not pleasant to be around and are often shunned.

Some people don't do well in life and wonder why. They simply have not learned to play the game. If for instance, you hate your job, not because you don't like what you do, but more because you think your boss is stupid, then you have not learned that it does not matter if the boss is wrong. It only matters that you do the job he or she expects you to, in the manner they request. Your job is, in effect, to make your boss happy. That's called playing the game. If you cannot, in good conscience, do what is asked of you, find another job, or do that one so well that you get promoted to being the boss yourself.  A little warning here. There will always be another boss over you unless you own the business. Even then you have to follow the rules set out by the government or the business society. There is always a game to play. Only the players and the rules change.

Marriage is another game. You have to work together to make it work. The rules require that you do not insist on putting yourself first all the time. As in most situations, the happier you make the other person, the happier they are willing to make you.

These days a lot of technology has come into our lives and suddenly we are forced to learn new games. I don't mean video games here. All sorts of things we used to do every day are now done with this technology. Simple things like banking, check-out counters in some stores, and paying at the gas pumps have all become computerized. Some people aren't comfortable with these new technologies and refuse to play those games. They insist on doing things the old way. That can complicate life somewhat as time goes by and they fall further behind in what has now become standard technology.

The government has been trying to get us all to do our taxes online for several years, and since some of us don't want to play that game they have now made it harder to find the correct address to mail our forms to. They are also insisting that they should be able to automatically deposit all payments from them, rather than send out individual cheques. They are busy changing the rules we have grown up with. Not everyone is willing to accept these bullying techniques, and some people, can you imagine, are just not equipped for this sort of technology. Of course, that would make it more difficult to play that sort of game without actually hiring someone to do your taxes, etc.

But I digress.

If things are not going well for you, stop and consider just what area of life you are having trouble with. A life lived by one's own rules very seldom goes smoothly. Stop trying to play the game by your own rules and many of your problems will disappear. What are others doing that makes that life work well for them? Take time to learn some rules that will make your life easier to live and enjoy. Life is just a game. Learn to play it well.

Tuesday, April 11, 2017

Adventures in Flooring

When a man has time on his hands and you aren't watching him, he will create a project that you are not necessarily ready for. That's basically what happened here.

We have lived in this house for forty years now, and the old carpet had seen better days. Actually, it had some sun faded spots when we moved in, but those were only noticeable if you moved the furniture. Underneath it, the carpet was as good as new.  A year or so ago, the carpet decided to buckle, but only during certain kinds of weather. We knew we were going to have to do something soon. Then last fall it developed a hole. Just a
small one, but a hole just the same.  I turned my back and the carpet was torn out.

We've been living with plywood in the living room ever since. Normally one decides what they are replacing a carpet with before removing it. One of the main problems was that the existing coat cupboard had been added after the carpet had been laid, and was built right on top of it. How does one get a new carpet to fit under there?  We did look at carpeting but eventually decided to go with a hardwood floor instead. When we were in the market for a house, I knew only that I didn't want any wall to wall carpeting and I didn't want a dining room. Well, I have no dining room, and only the living room had the carpet. Now, after forty years, I get the house I went shopping for.

But what did we know about wood floors? Did we want hardwood, engineered hardwood, or laminate?  While we had already decided that my office will someday have laminate flooring, I didn't really think it was suitable for the living room. Apparently, it's been greatly improved over the years though, and we did consider it for a while. We had no idea what engineered hardwood was and had to look into that too. Hubby probably drove our flooring guy a little crazy with all his questions. Me, I was only interested in the colour. I grew up in houses with hardwood floors and wanted it to have the look I  was accustomed to. I understand hardwood is a lot easier to care for these days, which is good, considering I'm now too old to be down on my hands and knees waxing floors like my mother used to.

The question we were frequently asked was what kind of wood do you want. But I don't know anything about woods real or fabricated. We were presented with a few samples, which were not what I had in mind. They were either too light in colour, too textured, or too dull. We decided to take ourselves to the supplier and look at what was available. There were certainly a lot of choices, but my hubby and I both went immediately to the same one. That made it an easy choice. Red Oak. Of course, it came in three different grades, but if I'm going to invest in a hardwood floor, I want the best.  The rustic stuff would have been pretty, but not in my living room. The other one had boards with too much variance in colour and when we had a sample of that, it almost looked like stripes in places. We picked the top grade because it had a more even tone. Watching it being laid, I knew we made the right choice.

But first, we had to clear all but the three large piece of furniture out of that room. That certainly made a mess out of two other rooms for a day or so. The job got done, and we are pleased with the results. I may get an area rug, just to anchor the furniture. My 43-year-old tables will be replaced too. You know the kind.....boxy with cupboard doors....  I want something smaller, that I can just dust mop underneath.  

My hubby caused this project to happen, so now he will have to put up with a bit of redecorating.  That's only fair, eh.


Thursday, April 6, 2017

Dishing It Up

Back in the days when I wrote a weekly column for one newspaper or another, I used to say that it gave me something to think about besides what to have for supper. That's a big decision, you know. Planning meals and cooking them so that everything is ready at the same time is hard enough, but making sure there is at least something everyone at the table will like is no easy chore.

The column had a deadline so I had to be constantly thinking of new things to write about, and how to get the information needed to make sure I was being accurate.

I don't have a column anymore. I just have this blog. While some blogs do have a strict schedule as to when they are published, mine is more of a hobby, so I just write whatever comes to mind at whatever point in time that happens. I no longer hand off one column, give a big sigh of relief, only to .....just seconds later..... find myself under pressure to come up with a new idea.  In other words, I'm back to sometimes finding that the biggest decision of the day is figuring out what to feed my guys.  Even once I make that decision, I might discover that I would have been better off not to have made the choice I did.  Let's look at two recent examples.

My grandsons were coming for the weekend. They were to arrive on Friday evening, and I wasn't going to be home at the time of arrival, so I thought I'd make it easier for their dad to feed them. I made Sloppy Burgers.  The weather didn't cooperate, and by the time they did get here, it was 8 pm and they had already eaten. No problem. They could have the burgers the next night. But the next day they were invited to a friend's place for dinner, so the Sloppy Burgers that were meant for Friday night got pushed to Sunday. Well, then the freezing rain started, and since they don't live anywhere near here, the time to head home was just after lunch, instead of after supper. We had a hospital visit to make, so I left them knowing that they wouldn't starve.  Their dad made them Nachos for lunch instead and my hubby and I were left to eat as many Sloppy Burgers as we could hold for supper Sunday night just so I wouldn't have to throw them out.

Monday I decided to take a chicken out of the freezer so it could thaw and be roasted on Tuesday.  Tuesday I discovered my hubby was planning to go work out with one of his black belts, so I figured a lighter supper would be better. I had some chicken burgers in the freezer, and there were still some buns left from the weekend. Just before we ate the call came though that the other person had to work late, so they rescheduled the workout for Wednesday.  Lovely. So I'd cook the thawed bird on Wednesday and he could eat as little or as much of it as he wanted, and the rest could be for the next night. Then a good friend calls and wanted me to go with her to the Brockville Aquatarium Wednesday afternoon. She had free passes from the library. Well, I wasn't about to turn that down!  We had a good time and got home later than expected, and I knew I couldn't get that chicken to cook in time for supper, so we had Fish and Chips along with some cold slaw. Quick, easy and satisfying. Along comes Thursday and hubby suddenly decided to take the afternoon off, and run me into Ottawa to see if I can get my camera fixed (that's a whole different story). We didn't dally, but I arrived home even later than the night before. That darn bird had to go in the oven or I was going to have to throw it out! So, dinner was an hour late that night but it tasted good. Anything served that late is bound to.

I'm always hearing how important it is to plan your meals ahead of time so you can buy what you need to make them. I usually buy what I'm out of, and whatever is on special that I know we could eat, and then decide day by day what to pull out and cook. This past week of good planning only ran me into trouble and frustration so I'm issuing a warning to my guys......I'm going to cook the way I write my blog.  What ever comes to mind is what will be served up.

Tuesday, March 28, 2017

More Than a Band-aid Solution Needed

For most of my life, I have been glad that I lived in a country where I knew the medical system would be able to take good care of me in my old age. Well, I'm getting there, but now I'm afraid. I'm very afraid. Under the current system, I'd probably just die waiting to get looked at.  That might even be preferable to the suffering some patients have to go through while waiting for treatment.
Within the past month there have been two trips to the emergency room at two different hospitals, and honestly, I'm just glad I wasn't the patient either time.

Patient One at Hospital A presented with a bad back. It was not a new problem but it was a crisis situation and getting worse. The patient got to the hospital okay, but was left to sit for so long that the pain was getting unbearable. I suggested, by text, he go back to the desk and tell them. He said he could no longer make it to the desk. We decided to go to the hospital to see if we could help. By the time we arrive Patient One had finally been moved to the treatment area where he suffered some difficulties getting on and off of the bed. The nurse stood back and only offered to put the side of the bed up for something to haul himself around on......as if someone with a bad back could do that. He was left alone for some time back there too, with no call button, if he'd needed help. After finally getting to see the doctor, and getting a shot for the pain, it was time to go. Patient One indicated that he could not just walk out of there. A wheelchair was found and brought to the doorway. Apparently, even though that part of Hospital A is new, wheelchairs do not fit through the doorways of the treatment rooms.  He then had to make his way to it under his own power, and then the nurse just walked away.  So, still under his own power, he slowly, and painfully managed to wheel himself out towards the lobby. We spotted him and took over. I don't know what they thought he would do with the wheelchair once he reached his vehicle, but it would have been just left in the parking lot if I had not been there to take it back in.

Patient Two had a knee replaced at a different hospital last Monday and was sent home on Wednesday.  She lives alone but the health system doesn't care about that. She managed to line up some friends and family to help her as much as possible for the first week. She had supper Wednesday night but by morning she was nauseous. Since then she had not been able to keep anything down by the time we saw her on Saturday.

We were to take her to get her dressing changed but found her freezing, nauseous, and her nose had gone numb and the numbness was spreading.  Not good. She called the clinic where we were supposed to take her and they told her to call an ambulance to ER instead.

ER is the pits these days.

The ambulance took Patient Two to Hospital B, but when they arrived the paramedics took her off the gurney and put her in a wheelchair.  Her leg isn't supposed to hang for long, and it was an hour before she even got seen by triage. In the meantime, she kept getting worse. First, the numbness spread to her arms and legs. The knee was not supported properly so it became very painful, and she was in obvious distress.  I asked whoever I could catch if there was not a wheelchair with a leg support that she could be moved to instead, and they said they didn't have any.  I know they exist over on the surgical side of the hospital. Why didn't they call for one?

Then her mouth started to bleed.  This is all while still sitting in the hallway, with the paramedics, who were sorry, but eventually had to leave as they were getting calls. The triage nurse was sitting in her little room, fully aware that things were going downhill, and still insisted that she had to see some others first.

So when Patient Two finally got moved into the Emergency room, her brother was expected to move her from the chair to the bed, and I was left to change her into a gown. She apologized for that, but shouldn't have been made to feel that anyone other than hospital staff was responsible for her. I mean, they are the ones trained to move people about, right?  We, on the other hand, are senior citizens, with no such training, and could have dropped her, or hurt ourselves doing what trained professionals should have been doing. She was left alone with no call button, just like Patient One, even though she had this strange numbness spreading throughout her body.

She said she felt like she had a dead animal in her mouth, because of the blood. Nobody ever looked to see why she was bleeding, or where the blood was actually coming from.  They just said they couldn't let her eat or drink anything until they knew what was going on.  They didn't even offer to let her rinse her mouth out.

So then it took another hour for a doctor to show up to look at her. She kept mentioning that she was nauseous right from the moment the Paramedics arrived until the doctor finally saw her,  but nobody ever gave her anything to catch whatever might decide to come up.  After I got her into the gown, all that extra moving around made things worse. She said she was going to be sick, and I ran to find something to catch it in. Luckily I found something just in time.  And still, there was no way to rinse out her mouth. A nurse spotted me running around the empty hallway, and later came with a clear plastic bag with a cardboard funnel on it, saying that was better than what I'd brought. She never took the other away, or even looked to see what was in it.

We knew by then Patient Two was badly dehydrated, which the doctor confirmed when he finally showed up.  He treated her for that, and the nausea, got her dressing changed and ordered bloodwork.

The bloodwork showed she was low on potassium.  That's no surprise either as they had her on potassium while she was in for surgery, but never sent her home with a prescription.  So they put her on a potassium drip and then told her she could leave.  And of course, then the nurse just walked away.

I stuffed her back into her clothes and we could hear them down the way saying she was gone now. There was no way she could be gone without a wheelchair. I went out and let them know we needed one just to get her to the car. This was at least the third time I had to try and find someone. A call button would have been a great solution.

I'm disgusted with the entire process.  How does anyone cope with an emergency situation if they are on their own?  Not even coming in by ambulance helped.  Not everyone has someone who can come to do the things the medical staff used to do. Not all of us who do come are capable of all the duties now heaped on us.  I no longer feel as though our health system is set up to care for us properly even in an emergency situation. Our system is definitely broken.

Monday, March 6, 2017

A Prescription For More Tax Deductions

Every year I find all kinds of people who have been routinely missing out on some major medical expenses. I tell them about that and they say they never knew they could claim such things. Well, I've decided to tell all of you, so listen up.

When I mention claiming medical expenses I often hear, "but we don't ever have enough to claim." Of course, you have to have expenses over 3% of your income in expenses to be able to claim.  It's often best to let the lower income earner claim the family medical expenses for that reason. Then if you claim what you paid for health insurance, the rest is often gravy. What?  You didn't know you could claim your health insurance?  Sure you can. The thing is, in most instances, you have to ask your payroll clerk to give you the numbers for the amount you paid, separated from whatever life insurance may be connected to that payroll deduction. Only once has my hubby ever worked for an employer that had that figure right on the T4's where it belongs.  I told him to make sure he thanked the person responsible for that.  The rest of the time I get him to ask for the correct amount for me to fill in.  This year, when I had my son ask for his, he got some kind of argument about how that wasn't deductible. I told him to inform that clerk that obviously she had been missing out on her own deduction every year. Once she decided she didn't want to continue like that, she got them both the numbers to put on the forms.

The other medical deduction people seem unaware of is that they can claim their travel expenses to go to medical appointments that are more than 40km from home.  If I have to travel to one of the cities for a medical appointment, I just go to Mapquest and put in my address and the address of where I have to go, and it gives me a legitimate distance between the two places. I then multiply that by two, as it is, after all, a return trip. The total distance is then multiply it by the rate the government gives us each year. This year, for instance, in Ontario, it's 54 cents per kilometre. If your appointment is more than 80 kilometres you get a bonus. You can also claim a meal if you have to go that far. There is a flat rate of $17 per meal, to a maximum of $51 per day (sales tax included) per person.  Parking fees are also considered an expense (if you have a receipt), as is overnight accommodation if it's actually necessary for the treatment you are traveling for.

So, have you missed out on these deductions in the past?  Don't let it happen again. You have now been informed.

Sunday, February 19, 2017

Almonte Won Me Over With a Contest

It's been a long time since I visited Almonte, Ontario, but the merchants found a way to coax me to come, and now it is inevitable that I will return every chance I get.

I had never entered a contest on Instagram before, but when I saw all the loot the Almonte stores were offering as a prize for their Valentine contest, I just had to give it a try. It was a Loop contest, which means I had to go from one merchant to another, online, and follow directions to win. It was very confusing as there were a lot of merchants, and, as I said, I'd never tried to do this sort of thing on Instagram before. I thought, while I was doing it, that if I succeeded in entering properly, the odds would be better than in a lot of other contests one finds online. Apparently, I was right, as I won about $450 worth of goods that were collected up and waiting for me at one of the shops.  I couldn't have been more excited, and though I don't drive, I managed to get there in less than a week from when I was declared the winner.

Parking was easier to find than I expected, and we only had a short walk to Cheerfully Made, where my prize basket (or bag, in this case) was being held. What an interesting store! There are so many fascinating things in there, that I even stayed and looked around longer while my hubby ran the heavy prize bag back to the car. I saw things I have never seen anywhere else, and I know I'll be going back there every chance I get. It will be my go-to store when I need a special gift. I probably would have bought something then and there, if it had not been the first store we stopped into. I wanted to see what else the town had to offer before choosing what to spend my money on.

There was some artwork in there that really captured my attention. If I had any wall space at home, I doubt I'd have been able to resist bringing some home. I do wish the artist would make cards of her work as I'd likely have to collect the entire set. Sarah Janes of Mississippi North does line drawings of animals that are much more impressive in person than how they appear on her Etsy page.  I found that but no cards were available there either.

Speaking of art, we stopped into an establishment called General Fine Craft, Art & Design. There we discovered that though we go to a lot of art shows, and studio tours, there are even greater artists loose in Ontario than I ever imagined. The talent gathered in this shop is phenomenal!  They not only have wall art, they have pottery, glass, sculptures, jewellery and textiles. I was ready to entirely redecorate my home!

And then there is The Tin Barn Market. Now, this store doesn't grab you the second you come through the door, as the goods are more rustic and not as colourful as what we had seen in the other shops. Upon closer inspection, though, there are many interesting things to be found there. My favourites were the large salvaged metal letters and some picture frames that appeared to be painted with chalk paint. I tried to convince the hubby to purchase a letter to hang on our garage.  He doesn't always listen well. As for the frames, well, one of the things I won was a can of chalk paint, so I'll practice on frames first.  I did see that they hold chalk paint workshops there so if I don't succeed on the frames, I might just have to go back and take a class.  The other side of the shop had marvellous things to eat. There were pizza buns and huge pretzels, as well as date squares, cinnamon buns and irresistible looking cheese danishes. I noticed there were pies and other larger things under the counter, but there were too many people lined up at that time, and we had just eaten anyway.

Later we hunted down the flower shop, and I collected a beautiful bouquet which was assembled within minutes while I watched. There was a good assortment of live plants, there too, and I discovered something called a heart hoya. I've had a regular hoya for a long time, and it's always been my favourite plant. I asked about these little hearts in pots, and was told that they grow vines just like my hoya, except the leaves are heart shaped. Of course, I had to have one!  Then I realized that with fresh flowers in hand, I really had to go home.

The village has really changed since last time we were there. We heard that a number of young women had opened up businesses and brought the town back to life. The contest was a great way to introduce the public to many of the shops, and while I may have won the prize, I'm sure the merchants have won a good many new clients and will continue to find ways to coax more people to visit their village. The people in the shops were all so friendly and helpful, it made shopping there a real treat.

I'm already marking May 6 and 7 in my calendar to remind me when they will be holding their Spring Market in the Agricultural Hall.  I certainly hope to get to visit that!





The following is a list of merchants and the prizes they contributed to the contest. Many thanks to each and every one of you!

Kentfield Kids         Tutu + Pink Bunny
Doree's Habit           Floral Wallet & Bracelet
Tin Barn Market     Annie Sloan Chalkpaint
Blush and Black     Apricot Body Oil &    Strawberry Lip Gloss  
                                      
Acanthus Floral      Valentine's bouquet
Crush Marketplace  Jon Clar Earrings
Hummingbird Chocolate  Chocolate Tasting Kit Plus Four Chocolate Bars
Heirloom                 $30 gift certificate for a meal & gourmet Canned Goods
General Fine Craft   Two Glass Sweethearts
North Market           Gift certificate for 2 take away items
Cheerfully Made      Love Story Candle, Brass Heart Studs & Gum               

I'm not finished collecting prizes in Almonte yet. I still have two gift certificates involving meals, and I will be going back to collect on them and visit some more stores (and revisiting those mentioned above). You will have to excuse me now, while I go test some chocolate......