New Year, New Way of Life

The holiday season has come and gone so people are back to asking me how things are now that my hubby has retired. This is when I have to confess that it's more like I'm the one that retired.

It used to be that I worked through the week at housework while he was out making a living. There were times when I truly felt overwhelmed at how much there was to do and how little time there was to do it all in. I had a schedule. There were certain things to do every day, or once a week or once a month. There was always a running list of chores and at certain times of the year they piled up because of extra seasonal things that got added in. Spring cleaning tends to start in January around here as tax season comes along soon afterwards and I do taxes for everyone in my family. Then its gardening season and apple season. It['s a lot of work just picking up the windfalls and making something out of them every day. Then comes baking for Christmas, which usually starts just after Halloween. Those pumpkins need to be used up you know. Christmas shopping, decorating and doing the cards rounds out the year. It doesn't help when I decide to get in on International card exchanges where I'm expected to design, draw and hand paint the cards myself.

Some people think I'm on the computer a lot but it's really only a moment here and there while I catch my breath with a spot of tea. And while I'm on there I'm doing my banking, paying bills, catching up on my business accounts, dealing with the martial arts federation and the school board as well as inquiries from students and would be students. I'm a pretty busy girl running a house and a karate club at the same time.

Normally.

The thing is, I never did any work when my hubby was home on weekends. He was off, so I was off and we were free to do whatever we chose to do with those weekends. But now he's home all day, everyday and I seem to be in weekend mode all the time. I've apparently retired too.

I didn't want him bored so I've included him in my social outings. That's good as he's making new friends. He's not one to sit idle so he has cleaned up his work area in the basement and now has a place to create things out of metal or wood. We had part of a huge tree taken down, so he's been busy cleaning up the mess made by that operation. If he has a spare moment, I catch him doing dishes or laundry or dust-moping under the couch. It's nice that he's willing to help me, but I must admit it makes me feel guilty. I'm not keeping up with my chores these days. In fact, I'm not on track at all. I really have to get back to my schedule. I'm already two weeks behind on the spring cleaning as all I've done so far is clean out a couple of kitchen shelves and done some of filing. As things stand I'm sure my hubby is now convinced I have never done anything around here all those years he let me stay home.

I'm not even getting my daily exercise as he keeps wanting to drive me everywhere I normally walk. But yet he goes for a brisk walk everyday. Between not moving as much around the house and not getting out for my walk while I do my downtown chores, I'm likely to gain weight, or stiffen up with age, or both.

Okay, so it's Spring Cleaning time.  Let's start with the light fixtures.  He can climb up to take them down one by one. I can wash them and he can put them back up. He likes to work so maybe I can get him to work for me. Maybe between the two of us we can get things done in half the time and still have time for us both to be retired at least part of each day.  We can walk down for the mail together, and then he can take off at a clip in whatever direction he wants and I can meet him at home. I like that plan. I never thought I could retire too.

Learn to Play the Game of Life

There is something called the game of life. I'm sure you've heard of it. Most of you play it well without actually thinking about it. But what is it?

Like any other game, it has rules. You have to follow certain rules to play any game, especially if you are playing with other people. If you don't they will tell you that you cheat. If you play by your own rules you are just messing things up and the game won't go well. Either way, others won't want to play with you anymore.

Society has set up rules of etiquette which are meant to make people comfortable with one another and other rules called laws, to keep people safe. People who get caught breaking the laws are punished for doing so. People who don't follow the rules of etiquette are simply not pleasant to be around and are often shunned.

Some people don't do well in life and wonder why. They simply have not learned to play the game. If for instance, you hate your job, not because you don't like what you do, but more because you think your boss is stupid, then you have not learned that it does not matter if the boss is wrong. It only matters that you do the job he or she expects you to, in the manner they request. Your job is, in effect, to make your boss happy. That's called playing the game. If you cannot, in good conscience, do what is asked of you, find another job, or do that one so well that you get promoted to being the boss yourself.  A little warning here. There will always be another boss over you unless you own the business. Even then you have to follow the rules set out by the government or the business society. There is always a game to play. Only the players and the rules change.

Marriage is another game. You have to work together to make it work. The rules require that you do not insist on putting yourself first all the time. As in most situations, the happier you make the other person, the happier they are willing to make you.

These days a lot of technology has come into our lives and suddenly we are forced to learn new games. I don't mean video games here. All sorts of things we used to do every day are now done with this technology. Simple things like banking, check-out counters in some stores, and paying at the gas pumps have all become computerized. Some people aren't comfortable with these new technologies and refuse to play those games. They insist on doing things the old way. That can complicate life somewhat as time goes by and they fall further behind in what has now become standard technology.

The government has been trying to get us all to do our taxes online for several years, and since some of us don't want to play that game they have now made it harder to find the correct address to mail our forms to. They are also insisting that they should be able to automatically deposit all payments from them, rather than send out individual cheques. They are busy changing the rules we have grown up with. Not everyone is willing to accept these bullying techniques, and some people, can you imagine, are just not equipped for this sort of technology. Of course, that would make it more difficult to play that sort of game without actually hiring someone to do your taxes, etc.

But I digress.

If things are not going well for you, stop and consider just what area of life you are having trouble with. A life lived by one's own rules very seldom goes smoothly. Stop trying to play the game by your own rules and many of your problems will disappear. What are others doing that makes that life work well for them? Take time to learn some rules that will make your life easier to live and enjoy. Life is just a game. Learn to play it well.